musings
July 19, 2008
I’m sorry if my first mention of cancer in this blog was too.., wierd, cavalier? dunno. I had more blood work done today, and I go for my ultrasound on wed. I’m drawing great comfort from my kids, and they don’t even know it. My son has taken to holding my hand again, and as he says “just for fun”. I wonder sometimes if they sense this disturbance in the force. ha. quite proud of myself for keeping things on an even keel. sometimes though, like at the baseball game tonight, the smell of the dirt and the heat on my face were just wonderful. I felt like an adventurer who may not pass this way again for awhile. Taking mental snapshots. I have always had a little frustration at the frivolity of small talk. “so where did they move?” “REALLY?” “I heard he lost his job” “something about..,” YEESH! now it is so totally amplified and I want to tune it OUT! With dermatomyositis, I have always lived each day as if it were a gift, so I have no regrets. it’s just a little louder in my heart tonight.
